A recent discussion with a close friend has forced me to articulate my thoughts on love and relationships. As a twenty-year-old virgin, I am a rare breed among my college peers. Luckily, there are articles like The 24-Year-Old Virgin and 5 Reasons Why Virginity Is A-Ok, that have provided me comfort when I felt most insecure about these things.
Common comments and my rebuttal:
Your standards are too high. This is possibly the worst thing you can say to any single person, regardless of age. I personally do not think my standards are too high, but they might be. I think my problem is that I genuinely just like getting to know people, and as a result, I view everyone as a friend. For me to like someone as more than a friend, something unexplainable, indescribable has to happen. To write out the magic, would take away from its essence. But it has happened to me before, so I know what it feels like. It just doesn’t happen as often as I would like, or often enough to be acceptable by society’s standards. It’s probably the reason why it’s so special when you do fall in love. Better yet, when you choose to stay in love.
You learn more about yourself when you date other people/ The more people you date, the closer you are to finding the one you are supposed to be with. I don’t think the more people you date equates to getting closer to finding your soulmate. There is no universal rule that says the fifth person you date will be your husband, your soulmate. I have many friends who have dated numerous guys and gals, and none of them are any closer than I am to finding their true love– if such a thing exists. The argument about learning more about yourself when you date other people, I believe is true, but not exclusive to dating. I believe you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. As a result, your significant other will be factored into the equation. You will change and learn more about yourself when you date another person, because they will probably be the person you spend the most time with. But I do not need to date another person, to learn more about myself. That, my friend, is already happening because I’m a twenty-year-old and my life is constantly changing, thus providing me numerous opportunities to learn more about myself.
You just need to put yourself out there, guys are vulnerable too. Maybe I don’t want to date someone who is afraid to approach me. This statement also applies to the first comment. I love, love, love meeting new people so I always welcome those opportunities. It’s just hard for me to want something more than a friendship. Trust me, when I find someone intellectually stimulating as well as physically attractive, I will make my move. It just hasn’t happened yet.
With all that being said, I am a hopeless romantic. I eat up cheesy rom-coms (romantic comedies), romance novels, and real life love stories. I find boys cute, left and right. But I’m not in a rush to fall in love– it will happen when it will happen. I trust in The Universe’s timing. I trust in God’s timing. I have been proven numerous times that God’s plan will always be greater than anything I can ever imagine.